1 week!!

I've made it one week!! Colin has officially been gone a whole week. And yes, it has gone pretty fast- most of the time.

Last night was another night that the phone did not ring... no call from Oshkosh, no update on what wonders the day had revealed to Colin's curious eyes. I know he is having a wonderful time and I had told my Mom & Dad that if he doesn't feel the need to call everyday, that is ok. I want him to enjoy and not feel pressured to check in but it does sting a bit to go to bed at night and not have heard that sweet voice. I still find myself checking his bed every night when I make my before bed rounds to cover and kiss each sleeping angel. I am always saddened to find no little curled up dreamer in his top bunk.

It still seems funny to walk to camp and only be watching 2 kids pedal their bikes ahead of me. I keep trying to count to 5 when we are out and keep coming up short. The van is quieter without him and not in a good way. He and Braden are always wrapped up in some kind of game or story in the way back, and now, Braden is sitting up front with Haley so as not to be alone. Even the girls are missing him because he is the one that helps me to carry them in and out of the van and also being that they are rear-facing, he entertains them as we drive. Sydney in particular loves Colin and I think she has been looking for him.

Braden tells me at least once a day that he wishes Colin was here. It is hard to see him feel sad and alone without his big brother. I know Braden really relies on his brother to be there for him. They happily go to camp and school holding hands most of the time. I think that for Braden, Colin is a safety net of comfort and security. The first night Colin was gone, Braden even slept in his brother's bed.

I guess I never realized how much stability having Colin adds to the family. He really has a great calming presence on the house - despite his occasional out bursts! He is so engaging and creative that the other two have been a bit lost without Colin to tell them what to do and play.

I was encouraged to see Braden and Haley get completely involved in a pretending game yesterday in the back yard. They were pretending to be Padmae and Anakin (of Star Wars fame) as they cared for twins Luke and Leaha. There was something so sweet about listening to them as they carried their imaginary twins to the ship or went out to buy them diapers and baby food! These two don't get a chance to play together that much and it was so nice that they have used this time without Colin to bond and reconnect.

I think Haley is the only one that isn't outwardly missing Colin.. when asked if she misses him she just says "no" will all the girly attitude of a 4 year old who is going on 24. Hey, I guess 5 out of 6 isn't bad! :)

So here's to hoping that he calls in tonight and makes his Mommy's night.